Tonight finds me in New York City. Just a weekend of random adventures. I imagine taking the train to Westchester, and watching the fall leaves. I made one of the most powerful prayers of my life in a field in New York…..heart broken. I wished to be uplifted and to once more see all that is beautiful and magical in life. Thankfully, I have been graced.
New York sends me a dream of taking the L train to Grand Central, and crying as I clutched the only person that I thought could ever love me so fully. A woman watches us, and finally leans in to say, “You are so in love.” We cry harder-as if we might finally merge these two frail bodies. This public display of heartache flung throughout the subway. He gets off the train before me, and we stand there. People rushing about us. Knowing that we will not see each other, and realizing that love is not always enough. We will go home, and we will become the people that we are. Without each other. He will still know when I think of him for years, and we will all be tied by these invisible threads. Love grows in the most mysterious ways. So we breath in the warm scent of each other and listen only to our breath-close and so comforting, softly kissing away each tear until there is the last harsh push of mouth against mouth. Nothing really beautiful in appearance, but so vast in all it’s sadness. I love you. I love you. I love you……
Being in this city is a lovely remembrance of that year. The bittersweet intensity of my first true love, and coming to accept that we can move on. That beauty is bold and progressive. That love can bless me everyday. That the leaves can hear all that you say and blow it forth into the wind. So I imagine that I may go stand in that field, and kneel down to kiss the ground that heard my prayer………. Thank you
the Spoke(n) Word 